I tried to drown my troubles but I couldn't persuade Pooch to go swimming

A woman at work sent a forward round the office yesterday of Peter Kaye one-liners. This was fairly revolutionary - forwards, like spontaneous buying of doughnuts, don't normally happen at our place.

Many thanks for all your good wishes but the but the wheezing has now gone...and been replaced by a kind of gurgling which I can assure you is even sexier. …