Things Can Only Get Better

Here I am back in the UK. I hadn't really noticed when in Tokyo but we don't seem to get decent clouds there. The sky is either blue, blue with a few wisps of white or completely homogeneous grey. Not like the UK.

I was mesmerised on the way to my sister's house. Apart from that I have slotted back into english life pretty easily.

I came back a week earlier than planned because of a family crisis - my sister's husband walked out on her and their 10 month old about five weeks ago leaving her without the money to pay the rent due the next day and just two weeks before she was due to go back to work full time from her maternity leave. I came straight to her house from the airport and have been here since but now I'm wondering whether I've done the right thing. She is so terribly upset and I have been trying to convince her that things will get better and to stop focusing on the worst possible scenarios. Unfortunately she sees this as me criticising her and she's ended up getting annoyed with me.

She's also said that having me here has made it worse as it has highlighted how much easier it is when there are two people to share responsibilities for Jasmine and for the house.

I've offered to stay in the hotel nearby so she has her evenings free and just be here to look after Jasmine during the day (her sitter is on holiday this week) but she was too upset to discuss it. I don't really know what to do. It is all a little awkward while at the same time I couldn't have more sympathy or be more sorry about the situation she has found herself in through no fault of her own. I am not very good at emotional stuff.

Looking for a ray of sunshine in all this - spending time with Jasmine has been wonderful although it did involve a particular nappy which I swear I saw Government agents in hazmat suits coming to collect later on.

We've been reading books and playing games and I'm starting to recognise the cries when she's tired or hungry and I even gave her a bath and put her to bed all by myself! Quite a feeling of achievement even though it has all strengthened my intention never to have children of my own. I don't know how anyone with one (or more) manages to get anything else done in their lives. I am due to stay with my Mum for a few nights from Saturday but I worry about leaving my sister in this state, especially as she has a house move coming up (to a cheaper place since she's been left in such a mess) and will need to start packing.

All in all it means a perturbing time is being had by all in this house at the moment.